Other Chaos

An Open Letter to Stay-at-Home Moms

Dear SAHMS everywhere,

Times are really freaking hard right now, aren’t they? Maybe you are enjoying this quality time with your family, or maybe you are wishing Ashton Kutcher would just pop out and say, “gotcha!”, and maybe your eve fantasizing about going back to work… it’s okay to feel one or all of these.

I am writing this at approximately 12:15 on a Thursday afternoon after I have finally caught my relentless barking Beagle after a 2-hour barking streak, went for a long walk with my baby, picked up plants, cleaned my house, and apologized for my dog to any passing neighbors. I had contemplated cracking a beer at approximately 10:05.

Our expectations, that are expected of us and the ones we put on ourselves have become even higher and harder to meet. Keep the house clean, but don’t forget to do the online school work, laundry, dishes, 3 healthy meals, get some fresh air, keep the pantry stocked, stay on top of everything that needs to be ordered/ done..oh and don’t forget to take some time for yourself, mama! read a book, watch a show, get away from the kids, have some “you” time. But don’t forget about your pets, they need to be fed and walked too… Oh and your husband! Yeah, don’t forget to spend some quality time with him, make sure he comes home to a clean house and hearty dinner after working all day. I could go on but just making that list made me exhausted!

I see you, Mamas! trying to hold it together, while holding it all. Being a SAHM is hard enough, and throw in all the fear and uncertainty the pandemic brings. maybe you are fielding questions from your toddler about seeing their friends and going to the park or school, maybe your homeschooling your kids and trying to give them some semblance of structure, or maybe your like me and stuck home with an infant and pets and your baby is crawling weird because there are no other babies to watch. It sure feels like we are wearing ALL the hats right now. And then there is pressure from the grandparents, when can they see their grandbabies from closer than 6 feet. You fear to get sick because your baby can’t be with you, and fear them getting sick because only one person can be with them.

How it feels to be a parent right now
Photo: Mommy wife life blog

If we didn’t already have enough guilt on our hearts before, they are flooded with it now. Guilty of cleaning and not playing but playing and not cleaning, guilty that your the one home even though its what is best, feeling guilty your kids can’t play with their friends, feeling guilty not letting others into your germ bubble, guilty you only made pizza instead of a gourmet meal because your kids need you… IT.NEVER.ENDS!

So my fellow mamas, please remember that as the world comes crashing down around us, or maybe gets put back together-depending on the day, all we can do is love our babies, protect them and their health the best we can, and teach them all we know. Remember… “This too shall pass”

-Chrissy Falkenham

About the Author

My name is Chrissy and I am a Stay at Home Mom in New Hampshire to 11-month-old Meadow, two rescue dogs, and a cat. When I’m not blogging or managing chaos you can find me on a hike with my family, cooking something good, or enjoying a craft beer!

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7 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Stay-at-Home Moms

  1. Your right I miss my granddaughter and her parents. Especially her mother. I am working two days a week and have to much time on my hands.
    Just wish I could see my kid

  2. Such a beautiful post. Being a mom comes with its share of mental load, and it takes a LOT of resilience to get through it ❤️

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